Fresh Start or a Clean Slate?

It always seems so easy, we declare that we are having a fresh start but how can we actually enforce that? There is nothing stopping us from going back to the past. I guess what I'm trying to say is that stating you're having a fresh start isn't enough. A fresh start involves change. A hell of a lot of it. I've learned that so many times because when we sit and evaluate our lives, we find the flaws and try to change them independently. But what if our flaws are reflected from other people? Surely a fresh start should be a clean slate. A complete wipe out from the past. Or am I overthinking it too much?

I said this blog is a fresh start for me and I meant that. I would love nothing more than a complete fresh life to walk into. But at the end of the day I'll still be me. I guess I meant it in the way that I want to start fresh with people, and how I treat myself. I want to talk about the stuff in my life and actually(hopefully) find some people that are interested in what I have to say, so I can connect with them. I wanted a place where nobody actually knows me, yeah you know my name and have seen my face, but you don't physically know my story or why the way I am. That's what I meant by a fresh start. Because to you guys who may be reading this, we are starting fresh and I love the idea of that. 

Here's to the future.

Lots of love...

paigeemilypatricia xxx

p.s I hope this quote inspires you as much as it did me. The idea of having a journal or diary like this appeal to me, maybe it does to you too. 

The Past Year...

So, it's a new day which means that anything that happened before now is of little relevance. Except for this series of events which have made my year, no matter how unrelated they are.

Let's start with the 11th of July. The most fantastic day of the year. With an extremely early rise of 1:45AM and leaving the house at 3:30AM. Why you may ask? I was lucky enough to see my absolute all time favourite idol at his biggest venue to date, but yes, I had to queue. Whilst my brain was mentally dying, 12 slow long hours passed and it was time to start the "race" from the gates to the barrier. To my surprise, we made it!! I spent 5 hours of my life no more than 2ft away from acts such as Rudimental, Example & ED SHEERAN!! Oh, and I made it onto the live TV special of the show!! Let's just name this the best day ever. But it didn't stop there, the long train journey home brought us to West Ham station where we had to wait 20 minutes for a train... However I am glad we had to wait, because standing on the very same platform as me was my all time favourite you tuber. Lukeisnotsexy. We hugged, spoke and had a photo(even though I was sweaty and tired because let's face it, it was 12;40 in the morning). 

Next up is the 6th August. Again I woke up early, this time at 5:30AM and left my house at around 6:50AM. I journeyed to Brighton, where the weather wasn't so nice on this day. And queued(I must have a thing for queues). The reason for this was because I had won tickets to meet my favourite female youtuber with Superdrug, Zoella!! This was an a,asking experience and she was so nice and kind and lovely and I would happily do it all over again. In a way she's the reason I though about a blog I'm the first place. I then spent the rest of the day wandering around Brighton, along the pier in the arcade, until I left to go home again.

Last up is the 13th of August, this day had so many mixed emotions. It was AS Results day, which is basically the examiners telling you how amazing or how bad you were during exam periods. My results were mixed. I got ACDE. The E was inevitable because despite choosing that subject I just didn't connect with it so stopped trying as you only need 3 A2 levels for university anyway. The D is what got me down, it was in Maths, the one subject I spent my whole year learning and practising so yeah I was disappointed at how badly I had done. Nevertheless, I got an A in Sociology and a C in Economics which I am extremely proud of and hey, I can bring up my Maths grade next year :) 

So these three events have made my past year amazing, although they were all in the last few months, they are what I remember most about the year I've had. The good moment are what remind you of what you are living for, and me personally, I live for myself, to do things that make ME happy and make ME the best person I can be, yeah I love making the people around me proud but I prefer making them proud doing something for myself, rather than them. 

From now on its onwards and upwards, this blog is my fresh start and I intend to make every moment from now on worth it.

Lots of love...

paigeemilypatricia xxx

p.s below is a collage from this year, my happy moments in photos. Maybe you have some happy moments to share too? I'm here to listen :) 

The Start Of Something..

Okay, um, hi?

I think that's how you start these things, ah well.

Anyway, before I bore you with my inexperience when it comes to blogs, let me tell you why I've decided to start something like this.

For a start, I feel like this will be a new start for me in terms of my mindset. I will be able to share thoughts, feelings and events on here that I may not want to share on my life outside this blog. I just feel that sometimes people don't care enough to understand why this certain point in my life is of relevance but maybe you guys will, and even if you don't, it's still somebody to talk to who I don't have to face everyday.

So that's my reasoning for starting this.

To all of you reading this and who are going to come on this chapter of my life with me, thank you.

lots of love...
paigeemilypatricia xxx

p.s below is an image of a quote which inspired me to do so many things because in theory there is never a right time.